Breaking News: Special Scambuster Report on the Dangerous Morning Banana Diet
Dateline: Scambusters HQ
If you value your smile, steer clear of the Morning Banana Diet
Have you heard of meth mouth? The Morning Banana Diet is worse. “The sugars in bananas adhere to your teeth more than other fruits, so eating them in the morning puts you at high risk of cavities,” according to Lisa Sasson, clinical associate professor of nutrition and food studies at New York University.
When your teeth rot away from eating bananas, you will have trouble eating. This does admittedly result in weight loss, but you will not be able to obtain the vital nutrition that your body needs, leading to disease or death.
Even if you manage to survive, your disfiguring dental problems will drive away members of the opposite sex, driving you to depression, which may result in suicide.
The Morning Banana Diet will make you even fatter
Eating all the bananas you want for breakfast can pile on the calories, making you even more obese than you were to begin with. Again, according to Professor Sasson, “Bananas can range anywhere from 60 calories to 180 depending on their size.” Eat the wrong bananas and you’re looking at a caloric price of a whopping 180 calories per banana, equivalent to two Snickers “fun-size” candy bars.
Here’s an example. Let’s say you eat ten 180-calorie bananas for breakfast, as the Morning Banana Diet allows, and then eat an additional 2,000 calories for lunch, a snack and dinner. If your normal caloric needs are 2,300 calories per day, you will be consuming an unneeded 1,500 calories per day — and it’s all legal under the rules of the Morning Banana Diet! You will gain 150 pounds in the year following your adoption of the Morning Banana Diet, all because of the Morning Banana Diet.
Take the sobering case of New York Daily news writer Eloise Parker. After two days on the Morning Banana Diet, she did not lose a single ounce of weight. Hopefully she wises up and gets off the diet before she begins to balloon out of control.
“It’s not well-defined or scientifically based,” says Bonnie Taub-Dix, a New York-based dietitian and national spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association. “Whenever you have a diet that says eat all you want, there’s the possibility that people who are prone to overeating will have problems.”
Ed Zimney, M.D., warns that “even if you experience some weight loss” on the Morning Banana Diet, “before you know it, the entire program will be a distant memory and you’ll be hunting for the next diet.”
Registered dietitian Kerri Glassman says that the Morning Banana Diet could spell disaster for many dieters. “[M]any people we know, no matter how many bananas you have for breakfast, (if) they’re told you can have whatever you want for lunch and dinner — you could be having a turkey sandwich, trying to lose weight, and then all of a sudden, you switch to pizza and fries — you’re gonna gain weight.”
Finally, jonneyboy25 of YouTube.com doesn’t mince words: “this cant work…no way.”
Did you think that malnutrition is limited to Africa? Think again if you plan on trying the Morning Banana Diet. How does this sound: protein, amino acid and vitamin deficiency. That’s what you have to look forward to on the Morning Banana Diet, according to mockingbird of Yahoo! Answers: “It would be nonsense to call a banana a ‘complete food.’ No food has all your required nutrients. For example, bananas have only 3 percent of your daily protein requirement – you’d have to eat 33 of them to get enough protein. And it still wouldn’t have all the amino acids you need because most plant foods, including bananas, are not complete proteins. Not to mention that you’d easily be deficient in every vitamin except C and B6, same thing with minerals.”
“Bananas are very difficult to digest, if you eat a banana on an empty stomach it forces the acid in your stomach to work harder to break it down, which results in excess acid,” warns aliendewd73 of YouTube.com. “You should also never eat a banana before bed, for the same reason.” He’s joined in his concerns by plasmagic, of YouTube.com, who notes that “they say u shouldnt eat it with empty stomach.”
Disabilitating stomach cramps, projectile diarrhea and esophageal cancer are not just unpleasant, but can be fatal. Bananas can be safe to eat under medically supervised, controlled circumstances, but you should consult with your physician before considering adding them to your diet.
Ron Garcia, blog commenter, warns that “eating that much of any fruit especially one as full of sugar as banana’s will cause a major glucose spike which (especially for higher risk people) could cause problems later in life especially if a diet like this becomes a lifestyle.”
And bananas made montmorency of ZeroCarbage.com prediabetic. Could it happen to you? This is why we recommend weekly blood tests if you plan to put your health at risk with he Morning Banana Diet.
Who’s behind the diet?
Where did this diet come from? Why did it appear all of a sudden on the internet? Dr. Zimney speculates that cynical marketers are promoting the diet in order to collect e-mail addresses to sell you the next dangerous diet when the Morning Banana Diet inevitably leaves you morbidly obese and toothless.
We wonder if Big Fruit, with all their millions, is behind the diet. They will do anything to push their products on us, with complete disregard for our health. You can bet that Dole, Del Monte and Chiquita will be marketing their toxic yellow cylinders directly to children on Nicklelodeon soon. Have they no shame?
Our research continues on banana-induced constipation and the resulting abdominal colonic surgery required to remove compacted feces, as well as the issue of potassium toxicity from overconsumption of bananas.
If you are a medical expert (especially if you are a “registered dietitian” or a YouTube.com member) and you know of additional nightmare scenarios about the Morning Banana Diet that we haven’t yet exposed in our scambuster report, please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org.